Current Residence: Barcelona
Favourite genre of music: Brit Rock
MP3 player of choice: IPod
Favourite cartoon character: Camus
As you can see, I'm not dead, just still on hiatus, yet I wanted to write this journal to thank you for the birthday greetings, cakes and llama badges > u < I also got the surprise of getting a core membership, courtesy of the most awesomest of the awesome, You have no idea how much you've motivated me with such a gift!!THANK YOUUUU!!
Also, I wanted to write a little update on health status, the biatch responsible for this hiatus it's a little bit long so if you're not interested in reading about illnesses and stuff, then this will bore you
Well, to be honest not much has changed since my previous update.
Things are still quite crappy; besides the usual troubles that I have with fibromyalgia and this recently found rheumatic auto immune disease (pain, fatigue, unending flares of symptoms... symptomatology of lupus, but blood works say it's not), I've also been having troubles with a life long acquaintance, anemia; more specifically the supplements I have to take to treat it, which have succeeded in destroying my liver and stomach tolerance for them and making me constantly sick to my stomach. Since I can't stop taking them, I began trying other types, and so far none have helped in preventing me from going anemic during that time of the month (the responsible for the anemia to begin with since I lose all the iron then), and so I've been dealing with an extra mega dose of fatigue and just plain difficulty doing anything at all, and spending weeks at a time without being able to go outside. And in the middle of all of that, I went through detoxing my body from the medicine I was taking for the fibromyalgia that was doing nothing but give me side effects. I took it for so long that I went through nasty withdrawal symptoms for months; I literally spent all winter in bed because of it... better if I don't go into details x ~ x
Going through all of this slowly fed my already spiked anxiety so much, that I eventually blew up in my very first (and hopefully last) panic attack - trip to the hospital included
What triggered it? Well I would have to say it's this cycle I can't seem to get out of; I fight to get better, and the moment I seem to be making an improvement, my body throws something at me like saying "LOL you're not" and I go right back to the bottom. The closest around me think that there hasn't been any kind of real improvement thanks to the current treatment I'm in, and whenever there was some, it was 100% me working my ass off by pushing myself. I honestly feel like I don't know at this point > 3 <
It seems like I'm stuck right now, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm quite tired of it but I will keep up the fight; I will find my way around this... like I've said before, you will see me around here, no matter how long it takes meh! I just hope I don't lose my mind in the process!
Hope you're all doing good; we are all going through hard times of our own, so much love to all of ya! ️